We're off to Africa where Michael Caine is now hunting slave traders who have kidnapped his wife. Yes, it's Ashanti - basically 1970s Taken. Part of a holy trinity of late 70s turkeys, prepare to be astounded by Caine's disinterest, dumbfounded by Peter Ustinov's accent, stunned by Omar Sharif's boredom and amused by Caine spending two full minutes trying to mount a camel. Yes, that's right...

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