Mailbag: Crystal Lake, BloodRayne, & EA Kills Mass Effect

Light physical mail week, so we dubbed it the Ryan Mailbag and immediately got handed Under the Rainbow—Chevy Chase, Carrie Fisher, and the largest gathering of little people ever assembled for a Wizard of Oz munchkin debauchery comedy. We still don’t fully know what happens in it. We just know the stories are wild.

Erin writes in about the Friday the 13th Part 3 episode and nearly dies laughing over hammock sex, dead starfish, pooping-while-getting-killed jokes, and Bob’s delicate butthole. Josh checks in from Myrtle Beach after living in an actual Crystal Lake, nine years cancer free, sitting by the lake with a room-temperature Pepsi and a Hershey’s Fifth Avenue to honor his grandfather. Kevin wants a Dead or Alive review and drops BloodRayne as a suggestion that will haunt us. James finds out EA closed BioWare and canceled Mass Effect 5 mid-development and has some feelings about it.

Voicemails bring Sean from Missouri ranking the entire Leprechaun series (Origins is the worst, In the Hood is a classic), Travis from Pennsylvania with a heavy personal update that the show helped him through, and Christian from South Africa talking voice work that includes a George Takei restaurant and some very questionable film titles. Lion Steve wants our thoughts on Tulsa King, The Pit, Grimm, and Reacher. Then Jake sends us on a Google Street View tour of DeSoto, Missouri that starts with Jeff Speakman energy and ends in senior apartments and pure anticlimax.

Emails, voicemails, movie arrivals, video game grief, and one town that sucks. The usual mailbag energy.

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