EP269: What do PDA & ODD Have to Do with the Nervous System? - Rabbi Shoshana

What if behaviors that look defiant are actually signs of a nervous system under threat? In this episode, Rabbi Shoshana unpacks PDA, also known as Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, and explains how nervous system sensitivity, autonomy, and co-regulation shape behavior in neurodivergent kids. She explores why traditional approaches often fail, how aspects of modern life intensify dysregulation, and what it means to truly trust a child rather than assume oppositional intent. Get ready to rethink “difficult behavior,” understand what may be happening beneath the surface, and walk away with a more compassionate, nervous-system-informed approach to supporting your family.

What to expect in this episode:

• The connection between nervous system sensitivity, autonomy, and emotional regulation
• PDA behaviors that are commonly mistaken for defiance or manipulation
• Modern school and family expectations that can push sensitive nervous systems into overload
• A breakdown of the “safe circle” metaphor and what it says about threat response
• Meaningful, real-life tasks that naturally lower resistance and increase cooperation

About Rabbi Shoshana

Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman is a PDA Autistic woman and creator of The PDA Safe Circle™, a transformative online community for PDAers and their loved ones that centers her strengths-based PDA Safe Circle® Approach. Rabbi Shoshana is known for her in-depth content on PDA that helps PDAers of all ages to thrive within the constraints of their vulnerable nervous system. After a previous career in Jewish congregational leadership and climate activism, she is now a sought-after coach and trainer for PDA adults, parents, and allied clinicians. Her writing has been published in many venues, including The New York Times and Psychotherapy Networker magazine, and she is the author of two children’s books.

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Connect with Rabbi

• Website:The PDA Safe Circle 
• Instagram: @rabbishoshana 

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