People Pleasing, Polyamory, and the Relationship Escalator | #212

In this episode, Caitlin Fisher reflects on trauma responses, people-pleasing, relationship conditioning, compulsory heterosexuality, polyamory, patriarchy, and the surreal realization that maybe… not everything is her fault.
💬"I'm constantly blaming myself for emergencies and problems that have not even occurred yet. I'm just walking around with a little sign above my head that says, 'You can blame me for that.' And I've been giving that away for free to people. I've just been giving them a get out of accountability free card... We're not doing that anymore because I'm tired, and I have better things to do with my life, such as living a life." - Caitlin Liz Fisher
What begins as a story about running out of whipped cream spirals into a layered conversation about nervous system healing, accountability, toxic conditioning, queer identity, relationship structures, and the strange cultural expectations we absorb without realizing it.
And honestly? Sometimes healing looks like sitting in your kitchen realizing someone said “damn it” and your body didn’t immediately prepare for a full on emotional battle.
What We Explore in This Episode

• How trauma can create hypervigilance and chronic self-blame
• The emotional relief of realizing you are not responsible for everyone’s feelings
• Compulsory heterosexuality and questioning relationship norms
• Polyamory, kitchen table dynamics, and relationship hierarchy
• Patriarchy, gender conditioning, and why hygiene somehow became “feminine”
• The relationship escalator and why default societal scripts deserve questioning
• How nervous system safety changes the way we experience conflict and mistakes