School refusal can show up as a slammed laptop, a child who won’t enter the building, or a full-body meltdown at the kitchen table. What if we treat that moment like a clue, not a verdict? That shift could change everything, especially for ADHD and other neurodivergent learners who hit fight, flight, or freeze faster under stress.
On this episode of The Brainy Moms Podcast, Dr. Amy and Sandy talk with returning guest expert Sarah Collins, a pediatric occupational therapist, host of The OT Is In podcast, and founder of Homeschool OT. Together, they unpack reasons kids refuse schoolwork across settings: homeschool, co-ops, microschools, private school, and traditional classrooms. They walk through the “person, environment, and occupation” lens and get specific about what’s often missed, like motor demands in handwriting, visual tracking and eye teaming issues, sensory discomfort, and the core stability needed just to sit and work. They also dig into social demands that don’t look “social” at first, like answering comprehension questions on cue, self-advocacy, and the fear of failing in front of peers.
They also talk cognitive load and skill gaps, including missing prerequisites in math, weak automaticity in handwriting or typing, and why “they can do it at school” doesn’t always mean they can do it at home without paying a huge emotional price. They cover restraint collapse, ADHD motivation traps where sticker charts fall flat, and what helps more: accurate praise, noticing tiny wins, and asking questions that guide reflection without triggering rejection sensitivity.
If you’re stuck in the refusal cycle, press play for a calmer, more practical path forward. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find this support.
Find Sarah Collins at www.HomeschoolOT.com
ABOUT US:
The Brainy Moms is a parenting podcast hosted by cognitive psychologist Dr. Amy Moore and Sandy Zamalis. Dr. Amy and Sandy have conversations with experts in parenting, child development, education, homeschooling, psychology, mental health, and neuroscience. Listeners leave with tips and advice for helping parents and kids thrive. If you love us, add us to your playlist and follow us on social media!
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Get Dr. Amy's book, Hearts on ADHD Parenting: Brain-based, Grace-filled Strategies for Raising Kids with Big Emotions and Challenging Behaviors, at all major booksellers or here: https://a.co/d/01IkKZEN and find her at www.AmyMoorePhD.com
