This week Ali sits down with relationship coach Ally Iseman, founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, for a full reframe of the emotion we love to hate. Ally's case: jealousy is not a character flaw or proof of love, it's information, and there's no such thing as a jealous person. She gets into why it hits so physically (her own first real wave of it in her 30s came with literal tunnel vision), the surfing metaphor for building tolerance to it, the three directions we aim the green-eyed gaze, and her step-by-step method for reading what jealousy is actually telling you. Along the way: compersion, why "if you're in a couple, you're already in a threesome," the timeout hand signal she uses with her partner, and scripts for naming jealousy to someone without it turning into an accusation.
Where to find Ally: On Instagram @allyiseman, on TikTok @passport2pleasure, at Passport2Pleasure.com. She also has two free quizzes at myrelationshipstyle.com and thejealousyquiz.com.
Timestamps: Ally joins us at around minute 14.
This week's Media Mention is a University of Montreal study that tracked young adults over two years and how social-media-fueled jealousy quietly erodes relationship satisfaction.
And in updates: Ali catches up on a Montauk pro-am volleyball tournament where she got to play alongside some of the pros she's long looked up to, a spontaneous "frolic day" with Skyline (they picked a NYC neighborhood out of a jar and let Instagram followers call the shots), and some reflecting on community as more friends leave the city.
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