Oversharing: Are You Doing Too Much or Too Little of It? with Dr. Leslie John (Harvard)

Ever shared something vulnerable and immediately wished you could take it back? That sinking feeling has a name: the vulnerability hangover. Harvard Business School professor and behavioral scientist Dr. Leslie John joins Danielle to unpack the surprising science of self-disclosure, why we often regret what we don't say more than what we do, and how revealing a little more, at work, in dating, and in friendship, can actually deepen trust, strengthen relationships, and change the way we connect. In this episode Dr. John shares:

• Why we regret what we hide more than what we reveal
• The science behind trust and human connection
• How to know if you're oversharing—or simply being honest
• Why vulnerability feels so uncomfortable
• The psychology of revealing secrets
• How social media has changed the way we share our lives
• The difference between authentic vulnerability and performative sharing
• Why revealing a little more can improve your relationships
• The "Goldilocks Principle" of self-disclosure
• How to have difficult conversations without saying too much
• What to share on first dates (and what to save for later)
• How vulnerability can make you a better leader at work
• Why you should only list a few personality traits on your dating profile.
• Why reciprocity is the key to building deeper friendships
• Practical advice for overcoming the fear of opening up
• How to tell if someone is revealing to connect, or revealing to perform.
• Why relationships should be built "like a fire," slowly, one reveal at a time.
• The biggest first-date red flag: skipping straight to trauma dumping.

Dr. John’s Book Recommendations: Difficult Conversations and Unreasonable Hospitality

Grab a copy of Dr. John’s book, Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, here.

Follow Dr. John on Instagram.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.