Dela
Make the First Move
The Art of Adult Friendship (S6 | E259)
[TESSA] As my husband Amir and I always say, trading an empty nest for an open one means opening the door to new adventures, vibrant health, and endless possibilities. Now that our kids have flown the nest, we’ve found ourselves with the beautiful privilege of exploring unconventional topics, and one of the most vital areas we’ve been leaning into lately is the currency of adult friendships. Recently, we had the absolute honor of sitting down on the podcast with friendship expert, life coach, and author Shari Leid to talk about the rewarding—and sometimes challenging—process of making and maintaining friends in this open-nesting stage of life.
Shari’s personal journey into this work is nothing short of inspiring. At 47 years old, she received a breast cancer diagnosis that fundamentally changed her perspective on everything. She told us that facing her own mortality forced her to ask a profound question: “If today were the last day of your life, would you be doing what you’re doing now?”. That wake-up call shifted her entire focus, ultimately leading her to transition away from her previous career as an attorney to focus on life coaching, writing, and understanding human connection.
One of my absolute favorite moments from our conversation was how Shari challenged us to redefine what a true friend actually is. She made a brilliant comparison to a dog’s unconditional love, noting that a real friend listens to you, supports you, and never judges you. In our adult lives, we often overuse the word “friend” to describe colleagues, business associates, or acquaintances who simply fit into a convenient category. Shari reminded us that true friendship isn’t about having a strict checklist of conditions for someone to meet; it’s about a mutual, judgment-free bond where you can truly be yourself.
To put these ideas into practice, Shari embarked on an incredible project for her 50th birthday called the 50/50 Friendship Flow. She set a bold goal to meet with 50 different women—ranging from old friends she hadn’t seen in years to complete strangers she had never met in person—just to sit down, share a meal, and learn about their unique stories. What she discovered was beautiful: women are incredibly eager to connect and share their lives, proving that even as adults with busy schedules, we all deeply crave meaningful relationships.
Of course, making space for new, fulfilling relationships sometimes means taking a hard look at the ones that no longer serve us. Shari and I talked openly about the reality of toxic friendships and how it is perfectly okay to acknowledge when a relationship is broken. If a friendship feels entirely one-sided, or if someone only reaches out when they need something from their “checklist,” it might be time to respectfully let that connection go. As Open Nesters, we have the time and wisdom to curate our circles and surround ourselves with people who genuinely appreciate our uniqueness.
My challenge to you this week—inspired by Shari’s wonderful advice—is to take the initiative and make the first move. We often avoid reaching out because we fear rejection, or we worry that showing our true, quirky selves will push people away. But as Shari taught us, embracing your unique “weirdness” is what actually draws your true destiny and genuine friends toward you. Step out of your comfort zone, say hello to a stranger, or invite an acquaintance out for coffee—you might just find the exact connection your open nest has been waiting for.
Resources for You
We want to provide you with support and many resources for your own Open Nesting Journey. Our resource page has so much to offer as does our private discussion group on Facebook about queerness and other topics of interest:
About Tessa
Tessa Krone is the engine behind and the face of The Open Nesters.
Tessa holds an MA in Consciousness Studies and is a speaker, coach, program and journey facilitator & leader, author and, of course, Podcaster.
Her offerings are based in her mission to help people open to their most self-expressed, loving selves. Tessa’s specialties include embodiment from all the senses and elements of our inner and outer lives, ranging from mindfulness, dance, play, and sensory exploration in nature. If she had one superpower it would be to help people, especially as they age, to live more open hearted lives.
Please email Tessa to make a connection. If you like, please answer the question:
What do you need to OPEN your NEST? In your LIFE. In your BODY. In your SPIRIT. Do you need MORE…
- Adventure
- Freedom of Expression
- Exploration and Fun
- Body Movement
- New circles of friends
- Deep love relationships
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