Why can good leadership go bad when we already know so much about what works?
In this episode, Andy Goram is joined by psychotherapist and leadership researcher Dr Amar Dhall to explore what happens when leadership, power, pressure and human psychology collide.
Amar introduces a powerful distinction between capability, what a leader is able to do, and capacity, their ability to access those capabilities when it really matters. From there, Andy and Amar explore why behaviours that once made us successful can become overplayed, why leaders can become increasingly certain under stress, and how genuine care can tip into the Superhero or Rescuer role.
They also discuss the hidden effects of power, why technical expertise doesn't automatically translate into relational leadership, and Amar's memorable proposition that leadership is like dancing: you can know everything about the steps and still struggle on the dance floor.
The conversation finishes with practical reflections on curiosity, self-awareness and the possibility that the next stage of your leadership might require less effort rather than more.
Key Takeaways
- Good leadership can fail when capacity drops. Knowing how to coach, delegate or create safety is not the same as being able to access those behaviours when pressure is high.
- Your strengths can become liabilities through overuse. Responsibility can become over-carrying, confidence can harden into certainty, and helping can become Rescuing.
- Power changes the room, even when your intentions are good. Leaders need to recognise that challenge feels different when one person holds more authority, status and consequence than the other.
- The next step may require less, not more. More effort, more control and more knowledge are not always the answer; reflection, curiosity and the ability to let go can be part of mature leadership.
Key Moments
The key moments in this episode are:
01:11 – Why Do We Still See So Much Shitty Leadership?
04:53 – Capability vs Capacity: Knowing Isn't the Same as Accessing
06:23 – When Responsibility Becomes Over-Responsibility
08:31 – How Our Strengths Can Turn Into Their Opposites
11:57 – Why Stress Can Make Certainty Feel So Convincing
13:34 – What Does Power Actually Do to Us?
18:46 – When Accumulating More Becomes the Leadership Trap
21:13 – When Leaders Learn to Use Pressure as Fuel
27:02 – The Superhero Reflex: When Helping Becomes Rescuing
31:55 – Leadership Is Like Dancing: Why Knowledge Isn't Enough
36:44 – Power, Challenge and the Illusion of an Open Culture
40:39 – From Knowing Better to Doing Better: Curiosity, Reflection and Sticky Notes
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Useful Links
Follow Amar Dhall on LinkedIn here
Find Amar's website here
Follow Amar on Facebook here
Follow Amar on Instagram here
Take Amar's Pressure Assessment here
Full Episode Transcript
Get the full transcript of the episode here
