Today I have my client Annabelle on the podcast, and I'm so glad she said yes.
When Annabelle and I first started working together, she was sitting in the car with her husband in tears. They had just moved from Denver to Northwest Arkansas with a 4 year old and no family nearby, she had opened a business a few months earlier, and she was working 12, 13, 14 hours a day. Not sleeping. Not eating. Opening her laptop first thing in the morning and adding to her to do list at 2am. And still feeling behind.
If you have ever thought "if I just work harder, I'll finally catch up," you are going to hear yourself in this conversation.
A year later, Annabelle doesn't work evenings. She doesn't work weekends. She doesn't open her computer on a Sunday. She has time with her son that she's actually present for, and her business has grown, not shrunk. Her husband left his job to come work with her.
We talk about what changed and how she did it. The 15 minute walk that sounded almost too simple to matter. Deciding when she stops working for the day, and then actually stopping. The guilt that came with both. Why her to do lists were making everything worse, and what she does instead now. How she stopped treating other people's emergencies like her own, and what it took to believe she was allowed to.
And I want to say this clearly, because Annabelle owns a business and you might not: none of this is about business. This is about what happens when you're rushing, guilty, and behind in your own life, and nobody ever showed you another way to live it.
In this episode:
- Why working harder keeps you feeling behind instead of caught up
- Regulating your nervous system in a way that actually feels good, not like another item on the list
- The guilt loop: guilty at work, guilty at home, present nowhere
- Boundaries that hold, and the belief you need underneath them
- Why perfect isn't available and what to aim for instead
- Letting things off your plate without deciding you failed
Annabelle designs beautiful custom closets at Up Closets of NW Arkansas. If you're in the area, go look her up. Find her here: https://upclosets.com/nw-arkansas/
You are not the only one. I promise you that.
Takeaways:
- Working harder is not what gets you caught up. It's what keeps you feeling behind.
- Your nervous system comes first. Everything else you're trying to fix sits on top of it.
- A 15 minute walk sounds too small to matter, and it changed everything for Annabelle.
- If you don't plan it, you won't do it. That goes for rest as much as anything else.
- A boundary isn't something you ask other people to keep. It's something you decide and then hold.
- Nobody's emergency has to become your emergency.
- Perfect isn't available. Calm and honest is, and it works better anyway.
- Letting something off your plate is not failing. It's choosing where your time actually goes.
- You can have a full life and a growing business without burning yourself down to get it.
Want to explore working with Amanda? https://amandahess.ca/bookacall
