"I Was Sat On The Kitchen Floor With A Bottle Of Wine And Drugs Coming." — James Sutton

He was in your living room every night. He played the first gay character most of us ever saw kiss another man before watershed on Channel 4. Men still message him today saying his character saved their life.

Behind the scenes, he was drinking alone on his kitchen floor on a Tuesday afternoon, waiting for someone to deliver drugs, freshly divorced, trapped in a cycle he thought was freedom.

This is James Sutton. And this conversation went somewhere neither of us expected.

We talk about:

• Growing up in Staffordshire — working class, post-industrial, no investment, no future
• Moving to Liverpool and becoming John Paul McQueen on Hollyoaks
• Playing TV's most iconic LGBT character as a straight man — and the weight of that responsibility
• The guy who watched in secret in his bedroom, and is now married with two adopted children
• "I was sat on the kitchen floor with a bottle of wine. Someone was going to deliver drugs. My wife had left me."
• The gradual collapse — not a rock bottom, just the same bad day on repeat
• Leaving Hollyoaks after 22 years — why autonomy mattered more than safety
• Building Protocol: weekly letters, keynote speaking, a course for men, and a book called How To Become Reliable Again
• The man crush segment that broke us both — Michael B Jordan, Ryan Reynolds, Declan Rice, Xabi Alonso, Paul Brunson, Henry Cavill
• Casting a UK Friends — Alan Carr, Zach Polanski, Paloma Faith, Olivia Dean, Lauren Lo Sung
• Dating at 43: "I like redheads. I'm terrified. I don't know what I'm doing."
• Marvyn offers to matchmake him live on air
• Three tips each for men who feel stuck — gym, talking, service, self-trust, and making peace with your parents
• "Stop making promises to yourself that you're not going to keep"

This is the best podcast I've ever done. His words. Not mine.

The Marvyn Harrison Podcast: culture, identity and fatherhood, hosted by the founder of Dope Black Dads.

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarvynHarrison

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-marvyn-harrison-podcast/id1456522027

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3cIh6ejnk3lUUVhqSKzPUS

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marvynharrisonpodcast

Partnerships and sponsorship: marvyn@belovd.agency

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