Welcome to another episode of Late Boomers! We’re your hosts, Cathy Worthington and Merry Elkins, and we’re thrilled you’re joining us on this journey of reinvention, connection, and growth at every stage of life.
In this episode, we dive deep into the foundations of thriving, lasting relationships with our insightful guests, Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander, co-hosts of the “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast. Bruce Chalmer, an experienced couples therapist and author of several books including “The Passion Paradox,” joins us alongside Judy Alexander, retired educator, author, and “the real person” on their podcast. Together, they blend wisdom from decades of helping couples and add a generous dose of real-world humor and humanity.
We explore everything from surviving betrayal, rekindling passion, and navigating intimacy in long-term relationships, to how faith, kindness, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths can help couples not just survive challenges but come out even stronger.
Key Takeaways
- Forgiveness After Betrayal: Bruce Chalmer reminds us that healing from betrayal is possible, but it’s not guaranteed or easy it requires immense courage and honest engagement (02:35).
- Betrayal Beyond Infidelity: Betrayal in relationships isn’t just about sex it can involve finances, addiction, and emotional wounds between friends, siblings, and partners (03:26).
- The Truth About Communication: Most relationship issues aren't really about how we communicate; they’re about what we’re communicating hurt, mistrust, or contempt (05:41).
- The Seven-Word Formula: “Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith.” This powerful mantra underpins lasting relationships and guides partners through life’s inevitable obstacles (04:35, 26:45).
- Stability vs. Intimacy: All couples need both stability (reliability, predictability) and intimacy (honesty, aliveness) but these can sometimes feel at odds. The key is learning to tolerate anxiety and embrace honest vulnerability (12:27).
- Practical Tools for Rekindling Connection: Emotional openness, respect, and humor matter. Judy Alexander also shares her unique creative journey into biblical erotica, showing that reinvention can spice up relationships at any age (20:36).
- Sacred, Good, and Plain Old Sex: The distinctions between different kinds of sexual experiences as relationships mature, good sex adds intimacy; sacred sex adds meaning and connection to something bigger (35:09).
- Sexual Fulfillment at Any Age: True sexual and emotional connection often reaches its peak in our 60s and 70s, thanks to maturity, communication, and creativity not just hormones or acrobatics (42:03).
We hope you found today’s episode as inspiring and practical as we did! If you enjoyed this conversation, please share it with one friend who could use a dose of hope, humor, and wisdom in their relationships. Don’t forget to subscribe to Late Boomers wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.
For more from Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander, check out their podcast “Couples Therapy in Seven Words,”Bruce’s website, or Judy’s book “The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible” (as Laria Zilber).
Remember, it’s never too late to grow, to connect, and to create the life and relationships you truly want.
Thank you for listening. It means the world to us. See you next time on Late Boomers!
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