Why do some traditions feel like a warm hug, while others leave you questioning everything?
In this episode, I sit down with my friend Shivani Bafna, content creator and new mom, who openly shares the reality of motherhood online. We talk about pregnancy, postpartum recovery and the Indian traditions passed down through generations. She shares which ones helped her, which advice she chose to accept or ignore, and how she kept her peace with parents, in-laws and the internet all weighing in. Motherhood doesn't have to mean choosing between honouring your culture and doing what feels right for you.
We talk about:
Her real emotions when she found out she was pregnant, and the pressure South Asian women feel to act excited about motherhood
Never seeing herself as "maternal," and the fear of losing her identity
How our own mothers shape what we believe motherhood should look like
Handling unsolicited advice, and why she asked her family questions instead of handing them rules
The no-visitors debate, and why she chose her mental health
Why every parenting decision has a trade-off, and "call me a bad mom"
Three generations, three laddu recipes, and how she picked one without offending anyone
The 40-day postpartum diet: saffron milk, fenugreek water and nourishing food for recovery
Why every woman struggles with postpartum, and why motherhood doesn't have to be binary
If you've ever felt torn between the traditions you grew up with and the mother you want to be, this conversation will make you feel a lot less alone.
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Follow Shivani Bafna: @shivani_bafna https://www.instagram.com/shivani_bafna
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Chapters
00:00 Intro: why old motherhood traditions are only now making sense
02:47 Welcome, Shivani Bafna
03:53 Who was Shivani before the public eye?
04:28 Growing up Indian in the Midwest
08:03 "I was never maternal"
11:02 How our mothers shape our idea of motherhood
16:17 Her real emotions when she found out she was pregnant
19:37 When your parents disagree with your pregnancy choices
23:31 Navigating unsolicited advice as a first-time mom
28:37 Why family support is give and take
30:24 The problem with fear-based motherhood content
33:15 AD: Let's Save Water
34:05 Living under one roof with the whole family
34:47 The no-visitors rule: does she regret it?
38:52 Every parenting decision has a trade-off
39:46 The no-kissing rule
40:57 How to set boundaries with parents and in-laws
42:05 Have these conversations before the baby arrives
44:18 Three generations, three laddu recipes
46:49 Treating your family like key stakeholders
47:33 When everyone in the family disagrees
49:40 Why it's okay to change your mind as a parent
53:19 The 40-day postpartum diet
56:34 Collective care in South Asian culture
58:59 The truth about postpartum
1:01:05 Adapting traditions to work for you
1:02:26 Motherhood doesn't have to be binary
1:03:38 Final thoughts
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast
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