On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with relationship therapist and sex/sexuality advice writer Yana Tallon Hicks. They discuss her passion for “experimenting” with human relationships and how, while working with couples via Zoom during COVID, she noticed monogamous couples rethinking relationship norms in ways she often saw in non-monogamy. She explains her book, "Redefine the Relationship: From Monogamy to Polyamory and Everything in Between" (Feb 23), as a “choose your own adventure” guide focused on shared, universal skills like communication, values, boundaries, and intentionally designing relationships rather than following the “relationship escalator.” Hicks introduces the “relationship palette” metaphor and a worksheet for rating relationship components (sex, money, time, fidelity, living arrangements), emphasizing renegotiation over all-or-nothing thinking and reducing pressure on partners to meet all needs. They also discuss discerning flexible versus hard boundaries, step-by-step “stretch goals,” weekly relationship check-ins, and where to find Hicks and pre-order the book.


Key points:

06:36 Rethinking Intimacy Norms

07:40 The Relationship Escalator

17:29 Masculinity and Relationship Roles

22:16 Relationship Palette Metaphor

31:29 Boundaries and Stretching

40:06 Weekly Relationship Checkins

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