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On Serving God, Not Being Religious with Dr. Elad Ben Elul & Rabbi Manis Friedman
In this episode of From The Inside Out Podcast, Rivkah and Eda sit down with Dr. Elad Ben Elul and Rabbi Manis Friedman on their book I Didn't Ask to Be Born and its core idea: Judaism isn't about being "religious" or what we need from God, but what God needs from us — asking daily, "What does God need from me today?" Ben Elul shares his Jewish awakening during fieldwork in West Africa, caught between secular Tel Aviv and an enclosed religious world, until Friedman's lecture "Why You Shouldn't Be Religious" reframed Jewish life as mission. Friedman traces this to his outreach starting in 1970 and its path to the book's Israeli success. They cover mitzvot, purpose, soulmates and marriage, hostages who found mission in captivity, teaching Tanya, Chabad's nonjudgment, and audience Q&A on dating, marriage, and identity.
Get the book, I Didn't Ask to Be Born: Understanding the Purpose of Our Creation: https://amzn.to/4bxqnrF
EPISODE SPONSORS
Swimply
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BINA
Bina walks alongside families from the moment someone they love suffers a brain injury, through every stage of recovery. Their campaign, "A World of Difference," runs July 19–21.
Support Bina: https://go.jcn.io/BinaIO, or call 929-463-9100.
Atzmi
Atzmi runs evidence-based, Torah-grounded programs — including My Best Self — helping girls build real confidence and measure their worth by who they are, not the world's standards. Active in 80+ schools. Save the date for their ambassador's evening with Bracha Jaffe, August 30th.
Learn more & register: https://go.jcn.io/AtzmiIO
Ohr Naava
Ohr Naava's "Just One Brick" turns Tisha B'Av into a guided experience — Eicha, the Kinot, an Ask the Rabbi segment, a video from founder Rabbi Wallerstein, and a lineup including Rabbi Fisher, Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi, and Charlie Harari. Join the live stream and support Ohr Naava's year-round work for women worldwide.
Register: https://go.jcn.io/ONIO
Shefa Living
Women carry so much — marriage, kids, running a home, all while staying connected to Hashem and themselves. Nesheema sits at the heart of Mountain View, the new frum community by Shefa Living in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina: a mikvah, spa, gym, daycare, café, and shared workspace, built around kedusha. Mountain View is already 358 acres of kehillah, with the shul built and first families moving in this summer.
Learn more: https://go.jcn.io/SLIO
GUEST BIOS
Rabbi Manis Friedman is a rabbi, author, and longtime emissary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson. One of the most-watched rabbis on YouTube, he has spent decades teaching on faith, relationships, and Jewish identity. He is co-author, with Dr. Elad Ben Elul, of I Didn't Ask to Be Born: Understanding the Purpose of Our Creation.
Dr. Elad Ben Elul is an Israeli anthropologist and author. After years of fieldwork in West Africa while completing his PhD at Tel Aviv University, a lecture by Rabbi Manis Friedman reshaped his understanding of Judaism and purpose. He went on to study and teach Tanya and Chassidut, eventually co-writing I Didn't Ask to Be Born — a bestseller in Israel — followed by Back to Innocence, on relationships and intimacy.
Get the book: https://amzn.to/4bxqnrF
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
08:01 Meet the Guests
10:08 A Spiritual Awakening
15:38 Africa and Jewish Identity
19:54 How the Book Happened
22:29 God Needs Us Concept
30:42 Anthropology of Mitzvot
35:45 Religious vs Jewish
39:49 Hostages and Mission
48:29 Love vs Need in Marriage
49:35 Loneliness and Divine Need
52:10 God's Humility and Romance
55:57 Soulmates and Marriage Reunion
59:35 Love as a Thing Trap
01:06:13 Love Idolatry and Cheating
01:07:52 Soul Journey and Resurrection
01:12:36 Rebbe's Nonjudgmental Lesson
01:15:17 Dating Is Not Relationship
01:21:15 What to Look for in Marriage
01:24:07 Mitzvot and God-Mindedness
01:30:42 Teaching Tanya at Any Age
01:35:03 Identity Through Action
Closing
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