Gary Sturgis doesn’t believe in acceptance or closure. “How do you accept the fact that you lost someone you love?”
In 2013, Gary’s husband Rob was diagnosed with stage four metastatic melanoma. Gary had spent his career in a bank and suddenly became a full-time caregiver. After Rob died, he couldn’t find the support he needed, so he started a Facebook page to share his story. It grew into one of the largest grief communities online. Gary went on to write Surviving: Finding Your Way from Grief to Healing and now leads grief workshops and support groups.
In this conversation, we talk about:
Why Gary rejects the words “acceptance,” “closure,” and “moving on”
Why the second year of grief can be harder than the first
Loving again after losing a spouse, and why it’s hard to compete with a ghost
Telling grief apart from depression
His “Grief 101” workshops and what he wishes someone had told him
Mediums, faith, and what brings comfort
Why Gary says grief never “gets better,” but does get softer
Find Gary:
Website: https://sgrief.com/
Facebook: Surviving Grief
Book: SURVIVING GRIEF - 365 Days A Year: https://sgrief.com/sg365/
📖 You're Not Dead Yet: How Grief and Loss Can Teach You to Live:
Learn more and order David’s book at DeadTalks.net/Book
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About DEAD Talks
DEAD Talks with David Ferrugio approaches death differently. Each guest shares raw stories of grief, loss, or unique perspectives that challenge the “don’t talk about death” taboo. Grief doesn’t end—it evolves. After losing his father on September 11th at just 12 years old, David discovered the power of conversation. Through laughter, tears, and honest dialogue, DEAD Talks helps make it a little easier to talk about death, mourning, trauma, and the life that continues beyond it.
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