This Live Session is about how to heal the anger and anger that has been transferred to our inner child in our developmental stage. In today's session, Tim seeks to heal his relationship with his father and forgive him for abandoning him as a child. What he is doing is focusing his attention on his father, believing that he will find the answer there. What we discover in this episode is that blind spots are usually hidden in our inner child...
When his parents divorced, Tom lived with his mother's unresolved grief. She experienced the loss of her father as her own and believed that it was her duty to take charge of her mother's suffering. When this happens we begin to occupy roles that are not ours within the family field. In other words, he went from being the child, whom they have to care for and protect, to being the man, the couple who comforts and emotionally supports his mother. This generates several disorders that affect the well-being and health of each individual in the family group.
So Tim grew up seeing and judging the world through his mother's eyes. In this vision, their father was an abandoned person who had hurt them. It is usual for children of divorced parents to feel the need to take sides with one of the parents. And if parents are not in a healthy and mature emotional state, they often manipulate children to "support" them or encourage their suffering.
Thus, the child inherits the wound and the vision of the "victim" and the "victimizer".
Tim has remained in what he believed to be a "faithful" relationship with his mother. And for this, he had made the unconscious decision to reject his father and accompany his mother in her pain for the separation. The first step in order to free ourselves from emotional codependency we must stop living the world between "victims" and "victimizers". It is very common to find this childhood vision of the world when we begin to work on our childhood trauma.
Only by managing to mature emotionally with respect and patience towards ourselves and our processes, will we be able to see our parents with loving eyes. Being able to recognize their human condition, and accepting that we all have active participation in our life, so that no one is a victim and no one is victimized. We are just people making decisions that lead us somewhere.
How he achieves a healthy relationship with his father and mother:
• Taking his place as a son and recognizing the wisdom of his father.
• Allowing her mother to take charge of her emotions.
• Recognizing the father and mother within him.
• Taking the positive from them and letting them take charge of the negative.
• From this new role of son, ask the father for advice to overcome his financial situation. Learn from parental wisdom
• Get out of your mother's "partner" spot and allow her to re-establish a loving relationship with another man.
If this theme resonates with you, I hope this episode can shed light on blind spots.
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