We live in a culture of "positive" and "negative" emotions, which really comes down to emotions that we're uncomfortable feeling/seeing, and ones we're comfortable with. In this episode, we unpack this framework.
There are certain situations where certain emotions are deemed appropriate or inappropriate. But why? People's comfort. Why are they uncomfortable with some emotions? Because they weren't taught to deal with those emotions themselves.
Parenting - when it's hard for us to deal with our kids' expression of "difficult" emotions, we do well to check our "why's." Do we want to shut down their behaviors just because our parents shut down those behaviors in us? Give them "good" ways to communicate and articulate their interiors, rather than shut down the "bad" ways they default to.
Do you emotions define you?
Who is the "you" in question? Your soul/essential self, or your constructed personality?
What is your personality?
A conglomeration of the life lessons you came here to learn?
A mask you created to cope with your childhood dynamics?
What do you do once you've identified the nature of your personality?
You can have a fixed mindset: "This is who I am, and it's who everyone should expect me to be from her on out."
You can have a growth mindset: "This is a reflection of my story thus far, but doesn't define the story I have yet to write."
How do you cultivate personality growth?
Ryan constantly checks himself in the background and examines patterns when he notices them.
Abby has an intentional monthly check-in practice.
Moving from victimhood to empowerment
Self compassion is a prerequisite to self forgiveness.
Forgiving yourself is a prerequisite to forgiving others.
Forgiving those in your past is a prerequisite to breaking the cycle in the future.
Forgiving your parents keeps you from repeating their patterns.
Also, we're all connected. The past several generations of trauma are on our shoulders.
TIMECODES:4:21 - Question of the episode14:05 - Emotional expression and parenting20:24 - Do your emotions define you?29:01 - What to do with your personality type34:46 - Shifting from victimhood to empowerment43:33 - Generational trauma GRATITUDES:
Abby is grateful for the people in her life who reminder her how to be.
Ryan is grateful for a rock he found in a graveyard.
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