St. Augustine knew what it meant to want holiness while remaining attached to sin. In this episode of Saints for the Struggle, Steve Cunningham explores Augustine’s conversion and the dangerous habit of telling God, “Not yet.”
Drawing on Augustine’s Confessions, this reflection follows his search for truth, his encounter with St. Ambrose, the persistent prayers of St. Monica, and the decisive moment in the garden when he heard, “Take and read.” His story speaks directly to anyone struggling with recurring sins, divided desires, spiritual procrastination, or the fear of surrendering an old way of life.
Knowing Catholic teaching is not the same as living it. We can recognize what needs to change and still delay confession, prayer, forgiveness, or a difficult decision. Augustine’s life reminds us that deeply rooted habits are never stronger than God’s grace—and that grace calls for our cooperation.
This episode considers practical ways to resist temptation, remove occasions of sin, seek appropriate help, and return to Christ after falling. It also distinguishes presumption from despair: tomorrow’s confession is never permission for today’s deliberate sin, and yesterday’s failure is never a reason to abandon hope.
Begin today with three concrete steps:
• Identify the one thing you keep refusing to surrender.
• Remove one obstacle that keeps drawing you back.
• Ask God for the grace to want what he wants.
You do not have to solve every problem today. You can begin.
00:00 Knowing What Is Right—and Still Delaying
01:26 Augustine’s Struggle: “Not Yet”
02:15 His Early Life and St. Monica
03:13 Knowing the Faith vs. Surrendering to Christ
04:03 How Repeated Choices Become Binding Habits
05:47 God’s Grace Is Greater Than Your Habits
05:58 Searching for Truth and Encountering St. Ambrose
07:26 The Divided Will: Wanting God and Clinging to Sin
09:00 Wanting Results Without Accepting the Sacrifice
10:44 Cooperating with Grace
11:25 St. Monica’s Persistent Prayers
12:56 When Old Sins Feel Like Old Friends
14:13 “Why Not Now?” Confronting Spiritual Delay
15:48 The Garden: “Take and Read”
16:55 Romans 13 and Augustine’s Surrender
17:51 Baptism and a Lifetime of Growth
19:00 Applying Augustine’s Story to Our Own Habits
20:31 Making Concrete Changes
20:57 Avoiding Occasions of Sin
21:58 Returning After Failure: Presumption and Despair
23:14 God Knows Your Weakness—Begin Fighting
24:25 Mercy Can Bring Good Out of Our Failures
25:17 Our Restless Hearts
25:54 What Is Your “Not Yet”?
26:55 Step One: Identify What Needs to Change
27:36 Step Two: Remove One Obstacle
28:22 Step Three: Ask for the Grace to Want God’s Will
29:41 What Might God Accomplish Through Your Conversion?
30:59 The Cross, Grace, and Lasting Transformation
31:55 Time Is a Gift: Do Not Postpone Repentance
32:40 You Can Begin Today
34:13 Stop Negotiating and Take the Next Step
35:03 St. Augustine, Pray for Us
St. Augustine of Hippo, pray for us.
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