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Learn more about Jamie Winship and his work: https://www.identityexchange.com/
Get Jamie's new book, The War of Worldviews: https://www.identityexchange.com/books
Jamie Winship returns to the Intentional Leader Podcast for a deep and honest conversation about fear, identity, conflict, truth-telling, and what it means to lead from love instead of self-protection.
Jamie is a former CIA officer, conflict mediator, speaker, and author of Living Fearless and The War of Worldviews. In this conversation, Jamie shares vulnerably about his own fear of being a disappointment, how leaders often use self-protection and self-promotion to cover insecurity, and why truth-telling is one of the most powerful tools for resolving conflict.
We also explore how leaders can help people in conflict, why anger is often connected to fear, and why leaders must model the freedom they want to create in others.
Jamie is a Christian, and this conversation includes discussion of faith, prayer, Jesus, and Scripture. Whether or not you come from that faith background, this episode offers powerful insight into what it means to be human, to face fear honestly, and to lead with courage, love, and truth.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Why fear is valuable but should not make decisions for us
- How leaders self-protect and self-promote when they feel afraid
- Why conflict is usually rooted in fear
- How to tell the truth without weaponizing vulnerability
- Why leaders must do their own inner work first
- How to help people in conflict reconnect as human beings
- Why love, not fear, is the better leadership motive
- How to stay grounded in high-stress situations
00:00 Introduction
01:37 Jamie's core fear: being a disappointment
04:47 How fear shows up in leadership
05:13 The decision to take his family to Iraq
07:33 When leadership decisions go wrong
08:29 Why truth-telling is the path through fear
10:16 Only truth can remove a lie
12:28 What Jamie says to himself when fear rises
12:50 Fear makes simple things complicated
15:13 Tracing fear back to an old wound
17:31 Asking God where He was in the painful moment
19:42 What happens when leaders don't process fear
20:17 Self-protection and self-promotion
21:31 Don't get your identity from the room
22:14 Can leaders be motivated by love instead of fear?
22:38 Every decision comes from fear or love
25:59 Jamie's definition of love
26:05 Serve and protect vs. enforce and control
30:32 How leaders should handle conflict on their team
32:16 Fear is what produces conflict
34:36 Underneath anger is usually fear
36:53 How identity changes conflict resolution
39:23 "I'm not qualified to do that"
40:12 Leaders must model the freedom they want to create
42:36 How two people in conflict can tell the truth
45:02 A CEO chooses humanity over HR process
47:13 Is truth-telling too vulnerable in conflict?
47:46 Truth-telling vs. vulnerability
49:03 A real-world conflict resolution example
53:25 Why present pain usually has a past root
56:25 What to do if you can't remember where the fear started
57:21 Habits for staying calm under pressure
57:49 Keep your brain in your own car
01:00:41 How the future helps us deal with fear
01:01:07 Getting the enemy out from behind you
01:03:34 Cal's biggest takeaways
