This is a special, last-minute episode and an important one. In the wake of the Silver Rails shooting in our hometown of Bend, we sat down with our dear friend and therapist Sally Lemos, MS, LPC to talk about what to do when tragedy strikes close to home. Moments like this bring up our deepest fears as parents, and Sally shares biblical, therapeutic, and psychological wisdom for caring for ourselves and our kids. While this conversation was prompted by Silver Rails, it applies to any tragedy your family may face, big or small.
We start with caring for yourself first, because we can’t offer comfort unless we’re in a place of comfort ourselves (2 Corinthians 1:3–7). Our kids don’t need parents who are never afraid or who shield them from all pain; they need parents who show them what to do when fear comes. From there, Sally walks through how to start the conversation without forcing it: leading with curiosity, listening more than explaining, and remembering that silence doesn’t mean an absence of emotion.
We also talk about helping kids feel safe without dismissing their fears, looking to the story of Lazarus in John 11, and about practical tools like returning to family rhythms and watching for signs that a child may need outside support. Finally, we explore how grief and hope can be held together, which is the story of the whole Bible, and why becoming a safe space matters so much, especially since we’re all going to mess up. We close with Helen Mallicoat’s beautiful poem “I Am,” a reminder that He is with us in our present pain.
Navigating Tragedy PDF: www.intentionalparents.org/resources#tragedy
Scripture Mentioned: 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, John 11:1-44 + John 16:33
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