35: Still (Un)comfortable: Five Years of Dear White Women

Five years ago, Sara and Misasha published Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism - and almost immediately got an email accusing them of being the racist ones for naming it. 

On this anniversary episode, they finally answer the questions they've never asked each other out loud: What was the hardest feedback they ever received? What's the most quoted, most powerful section of the book? And in a moment of DEI rollbacks and book bans, does the book's message still hold up - or does it hit even harder now?

This isn't a nostalgia lap. It's an honest look at what it costs to have these conversations, what changes when the political weather shifts, and why "getting uncomfortable" is still the whole point.

And, for the first time, we're going to do time stamps for the show notes - what do you think? Worth keeping these? 

• [00:03] The email that started it all: "Naming our platform 'Dear White Women' was racist"

• [01:04] Why they called the book what they did - and Misasha reads the passage from the intro that readers ask her to share out loud at every talk

• [07:13] The hardest feedback in five years: a declined invitation, and the line that stung - "you identified more as white"

• [08:19] Sara's identity journey: growing up under her Japanese mother's roof, years surrounded by white community in Arizona and Colorado, and the phone call after the Atlanta spa shootings that changed everything

• [10:54] Misasha on why identity belongs only to the person living it - and why imperfect, honest conversations matter more than perfect ones

• [14:52] Then vs. now: writing the afterword right after January 6, the hope they had, and what it's like rereading it in 2026

• [18:10] What's aged well in the book, and what they'd revise

• [19:39] Would they still call it Dear White Women? (Spoiler: yes - and why white women's voting power makes the name matter more, not less)

• [21:15] Why the podcast became What Do You Mean By That? - and what organizations are actually asking for now

• [25:00] What a first-time reader should walk away with: the Listen | Learn | Act framework

• [27:33] A word for anyone who's burned out on this work - plus a first look at Sara's new book, Different: The Joyful Survival Guide for Parenting One-of-a-Kind Teens (with Dr. Kelli Harding, March 2027)

Mentioned in this episode:

• Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism by Sara Blanchard & Misasha Suzuki Graham (The Collective Book Studio, October 2021)

• Want Sara & Misasha to speak at your organization, school, or book club? CONTACT US!