Many of us grow up learning to take care of everyone else first.
For many women — especially Filipina women navigating family expectations, cultural values, and relationships — that can show up as over-functioning, suppressing our needs, and staying in patterns that don’t truly support us.
In this episode, therapist and social worker Lia Mancao joins us to talk about the relationship patterns many people don’t realize they’re carrying — and how to start building self-trust, healthier boundaries, and more balanced partnerships.
Lia shares insights from her work helping people understand how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, why people often forgive quickly to avoid abandonment, and how we can begin reconnecting with our own needs.
This conversation is honest, reflective, and ultimately hopeful — especially if you’ve ever felt responsible for holding everything together.
In This Episode We Talk About
• how Filipino culture and family dynamics can shape the way many women show up in relationships
• the difference between a “proximityship” and a true partnership, and what self-abandonment actually looks like
• why many women over-function in relationships and struggle to name their needs
• how to start rebuilding self-trust, boundaries, and healthier relationship patterns
Listener Reflection
Have you ever noticed yourself doing more than your share in relationships — just to keep things working?
What might change if you trusted yourself enough to name your needs?
Episode Timestamps
00:00 Intro & meet therapist Lia Mancao
02:20 Lia’s background and path into therapy and social work
05:00 Why understanding childhood experiences matters in adult life
09:00 Social justice, advocacy, and mental health work
12:05 The difference between functional rest vs restorative rest
13:55 Why some people struggle to truly relax
23:50 Finding micro-moments of rest in busy lives
24:55 Relationship patterns many Filipina clients experience
26:10 How childhood needs affect adult relationships
27:10 Why some people struggle to even identify their needs
28:10 Forgiving quickly because of fear of abandonment
30:20 How to rebuild self-trust through small actions
32:30 Inner child work and what we needed to hear growing up
34:00 Giving yourself the apology you never received
34:45 The concept of a “proximityship” vs partnership
36:30 What self-abandonment actually looks like
37:55 Understanding social currency and external validation
40:00 The pressure to perform on social media
42:00 Adapting without losing authenticity
44:00 Knowing when to step back from productivity
46:15 Navigating seasons of uncertainty
47:10 An inner child reflection practice
Connect with Our Guest
Follow Lia and her work:
Instagram
@alyssamariewellness
Website
https://www.alyssamariewellness.com/
Connect with Filipina on the Rise
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/filipinaontherise
Website
https://www.filipinaontherise.com
If this conversation resonated with you, please consider giving to Filipina on the Rise here: https://www.filipinaontherise.com/donate or leaving a 5-star written review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps the show get discovered, allows us to bring on incredible guests, and supports the mission of uplifting Filipina voices and stories.
Thank you and Stay Rising!
