She asks how you feel about something that matters — and your mind goes blank. Completely empty. You've got a hundred things you want to say, and you tell yourself it's fine, you don't need to say any of it. So you give her nothing.
In this episode I break down what's actually happening in your nervous system when you shut down. It isn't weakness, and it isn't a lack of feeling — it's a protection strategy you built long before this relationship.
You'll learn the belief that keeps you numb, why your silence reads as abandonment to her, and the five steps I used to come back out — catch it, ground it, name it, say it, and build the capacity.
This is episode 3 of the Avoidant Men series.
chapters:
00:00 Why You Go Quiet When It Matters Most
00:54 The Deer In The Headlights Moment
01:29 I Lost My Voice — How I Destroyed 3 Relationships
02:49 The Belief That Keeps You Numb: "Your Feelings Are Too Much"
05:11 Where It Comes From — Emotional Neglect
07:37 The Damage: To You, To Her, To The Relationship
09:00 The New Belief: Your Feelings Do Matter
10:00 I Used To Lie To Avoid Her Tears
12:22 1. Catch It — Notice The Shutdown
12:50 2. Ground & Breathe — Regulate Your System
13:25 3. Name It — "I Feel Numb / Tight Chest"
14:10 4. Say What's Happening — Speak The Struggle
15:15 5. Build Capacity Daily — Like Learning A Language
16:00 6 & 7. Safe Spaces & Why Mistakes Are The Practice
17:06 Where To Go From Here
RELATE:
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What To Do Next:
1️⃣ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/
2️⃣ Get specialised relationship and dating advice: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe
3️⃣ Go bag one of the resources below
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🧨 RESOURCES 🧨
✅ Modern dating feels impossible? It doesn't have to stay that way. The Men's Dating Accelerator, master the most important skills: https://www.theauthenticman.net/mda-landing-page-direct-update-v2
Check out these FREE resources:
👉🏽 5 mistakes in embodying healthy masculinity: https://mailchi.mp/theauthenticman/masculinity-mistakes-in-dating-giveaway
👉🏽 The Hidden Mistakes Men Make in Dating & Relationships: https://mailchi.mp/faaf98ceedd8/hiddenmistakes
👉🏽 30 Dating App Conversation Starters: https://www.theauthenticman.net/app-openers-landing-page
👉🏽 Why You Keep Pulling Away: https://www.theauthenticman.net/why-you-keep-pulling-away-page
👉🏽 Why you are REALLY fighting - https://mailchi.mp/theauthenticman/why-you-keep-fighting?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=conflict-guide
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