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As parents, we often step in to help our children because we love them and want to make life easier for them. However, when we constantly solve their problems, prevent frustration, or take over tasks they could learn to manage, we may unintentionally limit their opportunities to develop emotional regulation, resilience, problem-solving skills, and confidence.

In this episode, I explore the research on over-parenting, Jessica Lahey's book The Gift of Failure,  and reflect on why allowing children to experience uncomfortable emotions, make mistakes, and face appropriate consequences is an important part of their development. 

Three reflections to consider:

  • Is this truly a problem my child cannot handle, or a problem they are learning how to handle? 
  • What is happening inside me that makes me want to step in right now? 
  • What is the smallest amount of support I can offer my child that still lets them do the next part? 

The goal isn't to let our children fail at everything. It's to create opportunities for them to struggle, learn, recover, and discover that they are capable of handling life's challenges.

**Join our book below to discuss this week's topics in school-aged children and get some tips!


Sources:

  1. The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey
  2. Podcast episode with Jessica Lahey
  3. Science Article: Childhood self-regulation as a mechanism through which early overcontrolling parenting is associated with adjustment in preadolescence
  4. Curious Neuron blogpost: Doing too much for our kids is having a negative impact on their development

Support the show

  1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s

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