You can grow up surrounded by farmland and still feel like you’re living on another planet.
Kris Saim joins us from Kansas City to talk about what it means to carry secrets for decades.
Kris shares a raw coming out story shaped by childhood sexual abuse, the fear-driven silence it creates, and the deep imprint of Pentecostal teaching that labels gay people as sinful.
Kris also grew up in the AIDS crisis era, when misinformation and panic made being a young gay person feel dangerous even before you could begin to explore your own identity. From marrying his best friend to becoming a dad, he explains how “doing the right thing” can sometimes be another way of hiding.
What changes the trajectory is a deliberate choice to live authentically. We talk about coming out first at work, the surprising power of being believed and embraced, and then the harder conversations that follow with a spouse, parents, and children. Chris also discusses building a respectful co-parenting setup that his kids carry into their own relationships, proof that family can evolve without losing love.
Chris is the host of powerful podcast, Dying Out Loud, created while he lives with stage four cancer. Built around letters he wrote to the people who shaped his life, it’s a legacy project and a challenge to all of us: stop postponing the words that matter.
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