Where did my sex drive go? Menopause, painful sex and the mental load

Menopause gets blamed for everything, including the disappearance of our sex drive. But what if hormones are only part of the story?

In this episode of She2.0, I'm talking with Dr. Daniela Steyn of WellnessMD about sex in midlife: painful intercourse, vaginal dryness, changes in orgasm and the libido that has gone MIA.

We get into the physical stuff that deserves proper attention, including vaginal atrophy, vaginal estrogen, lubrication and testosterone. We also talk about the less tidy stuff: stress, resentment, body image and the mental load. Because it's hard to feel interested in sex when you're exhausted, disconnected from your partner or quietly keeping a running list of everything that still needs doing.

I share what happened when sex became painful for me, why fixing the pain didn't automatically bring intimacy back, and what finally helped me and my husband start talking honestly.

If your sex drive has changed during perimenopause or menopause, you're not broken, and you don't have to shrug and accept painful sex. There may be several things going on, and this conversation is a good place to start asking better questions.

This episode is part of She2.0's podcast series with WellnessMD. Our conversation is for information and discussion, not personal medical advice. If sex is painful, bleeding or otherwise uncomfortable, speak with a qualified healthcare professional about what's causing it and what options are right for you.