I wasted 15 years of my sex life. Alex Grendi, former professional soccer player turned certified men's sex coach, joins Ted Phaeton on The Modern Man Podcast to talk about the silent battle 20 to 30 percent of men face — performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, ED — and the 4-step method he uses to fix it.
Alex spent 15 years battling this himself while competing at the elite athletic level, hiding it behind marijuana and locker-room bravado. This is the conversation that unpacks how sexual confidence directly shapes how a man shows up in business, leadership, and marriage — and the exact steps to reclaim it. Alex walks through the Superior Lovers 4-step method: nervous-system regulation (why porn/masturbation-free weeks reveal your real stress load), non-genital pleasure and sound expression (the shame most men carry), edging as exposure therapy for arousal, and separating orgasm from ejaculation. Plus: why Kegels are an emergency brake and not a solution, why sobriety was Alex's real turning point, and Ted's rule — you can't heal what you don't reveal.
Chapters:
00:00 15 Years Wasted
01:44 Welcome, Brother — Ted's Intro
02:22 "Sex Felt Like Something I Had to Get Through"
03:39 How Every Man Ends Up in the Loop
05:59 Elite Athlete on the Outside, Suffering on the Inside
08:16 The Whiskey Dick Problem (And What Research Actually Says)
09:28 The Turning Point — Sobriety & Self-Discovery
10:36 Sexual Health IS Health
13:52 What Semen Retention Actually Is (It's NOT NoFap)
16:30 How to Move Your Sexual Energy
19:00 Ted on Breaking His Own Porn Habit
21:17 The Layers Underneath "Boredom"
22:46 What "Superior Lover" Actually Means
24:25 Why the "Quick Tip" Won't Fix It
26:56 STEP 1 — Stress Regulation & Nervous System Awareness
28:57 Ted's Ice Bath Aha Moment (120 BPM → 68 BPM)
30:03 The Ice Bath Erection Challenge 😂
31:01 STEP 2 — Non-Genital Touch & Sound Expression
33:52 The *When Harry Met Sally* Reversal
37:19 STEP 3 — Edging & the Stop-Start Method
41:28 The Kegel Myth-Buster (Emergency Brake, Not a Solution)
43:33 STEP 4 — Separating Orgasm from Ejaculation
45:35 The Taboo That Keeps Men Stuck
47:28 30–50% of Men Have Experienced This
48:50 "You Can't Heal What You Don't Reveal"
49:18 The Ejaculation Replacement Technique
50:39 Where to Find Alex
51:56 What Changed How Alex Sees the World (Sobriety)
53:21 Ted's Final Takeaways & Closing Thoughts
🤝 Connect with Alex Grendi:
Website: alexgrendi.com
YouTube Channels:
Alex Grendi
Alex Grendi Coaching
Instagram: @alex.grendi
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: Call, Text, or Chat 988
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