Children were once seen as their father's property. So how did we get from there to a family court system that tries – however imperfectly – to put their welfare first?
Kate is joined by Lara Feigel, author and professor at King's College London, to draw a comprehensive timeline of the family courts, from a time when children were seen as their father's property right through to today.
We talk about:
- How the family court developed in England and Wales over the centuries – from a system that treated children as property to one that tries to hear their voice
- How that compares internationally – and why we so often followed rather than led
- When the voice of the child started to matter, and how it's heard today
- Why the family court should be the last reort for separating couples
This episode is for anyone curious about how the family courts came to be, and why – where it's safe to – staying out of court is so often the kinder, calmer path.
A note before you listen: this episode touches on the death of a child and domestic abuse. Please take care while listening. If you need support, these organisations can help:
A note on the word 'custody'
You'll hear the word 'custody' used throughout this episode – both in the historical context Lara explores and in the title of her book. It's also a term many people still use in everyday conversation when talking about their children after separation.
But in England and Wales today, 'custody' isn't actually a legal term. It was replaced under the Children Act 1989, which shifted the focus away from one parent 'winning' and the other 'losing', and towards something more constructive: child arrangements. The language courts use now is 'lives with' and 'spends time with' – because the goal is for children to have meaningful, loving relationships with both parents wherever it's safe to do so.
At amicable, we use 'child arrangements' rather than 'custody' for exactly this reason. The words we use shape how we think – and 'arrangements' puts children's needs at the centre, rather than parents' rights.
About Lara Feigel
Lara Feigel is the author of Custody: The Secret History of Mothers – one of the Economist’s best books of 2026. This isa history of child arrangements from 1800 told through the stories of several families. She is a professor at King’s College London and the author of five other books on cultural history and a novel.
You can find Lara’s book Custody: The Secret History of Mothers on Amazon and you can read more of her writing on the Right to Equality website.
More divorce resources
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Kate’s book amicable divorce includes dedicated chapters on co-parenting, with practical guidance on supporting your children's wellbeing, talking to them in age-appropriate ways and building a cooperative co-parenting relationship that reduces conflict. Find it on Amazon today.
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