It's another star-studded Grammy Awards extravaganza, with DJs of all stripes, a suavely bearded Jon spreading his rebar wings, a grizzled Mike slapping himself in the face with American cheese, and a surreptitious Nirvana catfish. Hosier surmounts Olivia Rodrigo's parapet with Disney attitude to resist the rise of The Abbanator. Anderson Paak's been feeding salt-and-vinegar crisps to Bruno Mars from Lady Gaga's poisoned chalice, although Jon Batiste decided to stick with his gourmet salad. Alicia Keys and Brandi Carlile are displaying zero-content conviction for Lil Nas X, as he backs a losing horse down Old Town Road. Meanwhile, Ed Sheeran & David Guetta compare stolen harmonies with the bare-faced cheek of Eilish fatigue. And, at his subversively religious home-arranger keyboard, the Right Honorable Justice Bieber is playing Swiftie's ode to toenail-clipping, while WYSIWYG Doja joins the unfairly non-new Finneas to watch Kid Laroi stirring HER's glossy snow globe with his wooden spoon.
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