Few aspects of human relationships are more uncomfortable than criticism, whether giving it or receiving it. Yet we cannot grow without it.

If we are to become better people, we have to recognise our mistakes, learn from them, and change. The question is not whether criticism has a place in our lives, but whether we know how to give it and receive it well.

This week's parsha, Devarim, begins with one of the Torah's most important moments of correction. As Moshe prepares to take leave of the Jewish people, he reflects on forty years in the desert and offers them words they need to hear, not necessarily words they want to hear.

Drawing on Parshat Devarim, Pirkei Avot and the example of our greatest leaders, the Chief Rabbi explores one of life's most difficult questions: how does telling someone they're wrong become an act of love rather than an act of harm?

Key Questions

  • If speaking up risks the relationship, is silence really the safer choice, or just the easier one?

  • Can criticism be an act of friendship, or is that always self-justification?

  • Why does Moshe correct the people without ever naming them?

  • What does a person have to become before they're allowed to correct someone else?

  • Is the goal of a hard conversation to be right, or to make someone else greater?

 

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