Love That Lasts Forever | Parsha with the Chief: Chayei Sarah

We usually think of love as something that happens to us, a feeling we fall into and can't control.

But the Torah teaches us that love is something we are responsible for developing. It is a powerful and sacred force, a vital part of who we are that must be nurtured if we are to fulfil our divine purpose.

The parsha of Chayei Sarah begins with Abraham mourning the loss of Sarah, his beloved wife of many decades, and ends with the beginning of the love between Isaac and Rebecca.

The Torah is extraordinarily selective in what it tells us about the history of our people. Yet it gives particular attention to the marriages and relationships of our founding fathers and mothers. This tells us something profound about the place of love in Jewish life, and in the development of the human being. 

Drawing on Pirkei Avot, Rashi, the Sforno, the Ramban and Rav Dessler, Chief Rabbi Goldstein looks at what the Mishnah means when it says that a love which depends on something will end when that thing is gone, while a love which depends on nothing will last forever.

That leaves a question every one of us lives with in our closest relationships. How does a person actually reach that kind of love?

The story of the Jewish people begins with four marriages. It has been a love story ever since.

Key Questions

• If love is a feeling that simply happens to us, how can it be something we are expected to develop?

• Why would the Torah, which tells our history so briefly, stop to describe the marriages of our founding fathers and mothers?

• How do you know whether you love someone for who they are or for what you receive from them?

• Does loving someone lead us to give to them, or does giving lead us to love?

• What would it mean to love God, rather than simply serve Him out of duty?