Opie screams at the TV because Heather O'Rourke is still doing traffic reports like it's 1985 ("we all have apps, lady!"), while Tony P explains why GPS always sends you through the ghetto and how old paper maps were pure chaos. Then Shakira lights up the World Cup halftime at 50 with hips that don't lie, Tony celebrates his birthday with 3-11, ice cream, and naked rainy push-ups, plus rants on everything from Messi crying to Elliot Page on Men's Health. Monday morning gold.

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