In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe gets real about one of the most uncomfortable and misunderstood parts of postpartum life: intrusive thoughts. If you've ever had a scary, unwanted thought pop into your head after having a baby and immediately wondered, “What is wrong with me?!”, you are absolutely not alone.
HeHe sits down with Špela Grašič, a registered clinical counselor and new mom who has lived with OCD herself, to unpack the difference between common postpartum intrusive thoughts and postpartum OCD. They talk about why so many new parents experience unwanted thoughts about something happening to their baby, and why having an intrusive thought does not mean you want it to happen or make you more likely to act on it.
Špela shares her own experience with vivid postpartum intrusive thoughts and explains how OCD can be sneaky, showing up not just through obvious behaviors, but through mental compulsions, reassurance-seeking, checking, avoidance, and constantly trying to make sure you're a “good enough” or safe parent.
Together, HeHe and Špela explore how hormones, sleep deprivation, hypervigilance, stress, and the enormous responsibility of caring for a tiny human can all contribute to postpartum intrusive thoughts. They also share practical ways to respond when those thoughts show up, including naming and externalizing them, grounding, breathing, values-based strategies, and finding a therapist who actually understands OCD and perinatal mental health.
Most importantly, this episode is about taking the shame out of thoughts you never asked for. Postpartum OCD can be misunderstood or mistaken for anxiety or depression, so knowing what to look for and getting the right support matters.
If you've ever been afraid to tell someone what your brain is doing because you're scared they'll judge you, this conversation is for you. You deserve support, you deserve answers, and you do not have to navigate the weird, scary, overwhelming parts of postpartum alone.
Chapters:
00:00 You Are Not Broken
01:24 Why Mental Health Feels Taboo
03:12 Meet Špela and Today’s Goals
05:55 Taboo Intrusive Thoughts Explained
07:04 Real Postpartum OCD Stories
10:45 Reassurance and The Data
12:03 Host’s Bank Trigger Moment
16:01 Why Intrusive Thoughts Happen
19:19 Hypervigilance and Bias Battles
30:12 Birth Lounge App Break
34:29 Back to OCD Postpartum Changes
34:43 Postpartum OCD Flareups
35:19 Miscarriage Intrusions Explained
37:47 Compulsions and Leniency
42:09 Reassurance Versus Exposure
48:26 Support and Resources Wrap
Guest Bio:
Spela Grasic is a new mom and a Registered Clinical Counsellor from Kelowna, BC (Canada). Her journey into mental health started over a decade ago when a friend said, “maybe you should talk to someone.” (Yes, like the book.) She did and, over time, transformed her relationship with herself and her thoughts. She now sits with others as they learn to hold, untangle, and tend to all the messy, painful stuff.
Spela holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology from Yorkville University and a Master of Arts in English from the University of British Columbia (Okanagan). Her S.S.H.R.C funded MA (English) research explored the novel as a space where communities can explore intergenerational trauma encapsulated in everyday interactions, institutions, and languages. Professional qualifications aside, Spela is a quirky, sometimes awkward, new mom, partner, sister, daughter, and friend navigating the messiness of a rich and fulfilling life.
Connect with Spela: https://www.instagram.com/spelagrasiccounselling/ https://bcacc.ca/counsellors/spela-grasic/ https://alivecounselling.com/team/spela-grasic/
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
Connect with Spela on IG: https://www.instagram.com/spelagrasiccounselling/
BIRTH EDUCATION:
Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection
LINKS MENTIONED:
Listen to our episode on intrusive thoughts w/ Dr. Kat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivM-Iqv1qK0
international iCBT foundation: https://icbt.online/
International OCD Foundation: https://iocdf.org/
The Happiness Trap: https://thehappinesstrap.com/
https://www.instagram.com/anxietyocdtreatment/
Postpartum Support International: https://postpartum.net/
