Jon asked a pediatrician of thirty-five years for the formula for influencing your kids. She gave him three words.
Dr. Meg Meeker, author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, says her job is to speak to dads on behalf of their children. So Jon asked the question every man here eventually asks, which is some version of just tell me what to do. She gave him a list. Attention, affection, acceptance. Whether your child is two or twenty-two or fifty, they want the same three things from you, and the third one is where most of us quietly fail.
The part that will sting is the grocery store. You are listing what your daughter has done to someone you ran into, straight A's, varsity as a sophomore, and she is standing right behind you. "She doesn't feel accepted. She feels like a performer."
IN THIS EPISODE
Why a pediatrician speaks to fathers on behalf of their kids
The formula for influence, and why men want it as a checklist
Attention: whether your child is 2 or 22 or 50, they want to be seen
Affection, and how it changes shape without going away as a daughter grows
Acceptance, and the grocery store conversation that turns a kid into a performer
The elite swimmer whose whole relationship with her dad was built on the sport
What acceptance means when your kid genuinely disappoints you
"If our acceptance of them is predicated on them turning out the way we envision, we're cooked"
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