Reid Vanderburgh spent more than 20 years living in lesbian community before realizing he was trans. More than 30 years later, he's a retired therapist, author, stepfather, chosen grandfather, and proud trans elder.
Reid joins Jaimie to talk about finding the language to understand yourself, becoming the therapist he once needed, and why younger generations give him hope. They also explore chosen family, the power of representation, and what Reid calls the most important relationship he ever found—the one with himself.
It's a conversation about identity, belonging, empathy, and the gift of becoming who you are.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Representation gives us the language to understand ourselves.
- There's no one "right" way—or timeline—to know who you are.
- Believe people when they tell you who they are.
- Sometimes the most important relationship is the one you build with yourself.
- Our identities can be gifts, not burdens.
- Chosen family can change—and save—lives.
- Younger generations aren't creating new identities; they have more freedom to name what's always existed.
- Progress isn't linear, but Reid's 50+ years in the community give him real hope for what's ahead.
🏳️🌈 About the guest(s)
Reid Vanderburgh is a retired therapist, author, trans elder, and longtime LGBTQ+ advocate who transitioned more than 30 years ago. After his own experience with therapists who didn't understand what he was going through, Reid became one of the early openly trans therapists dedicated to serving the trans community, working with hundreds of clients throughout his career. He's also an author, longtime member of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, stepfather, and proud chosen grandfather.
🏳️🌈 Resources Mentioned
https://reidvanderburgh.com/
🏳️🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com
🎧 Loved this episode?
Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!
OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:
🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content
🏳️🌈 What resonated most with you?
Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!
🏳️🌈 Let’s Connect!
Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube
🏳️🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book
🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato
🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-content
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
