ep 138 / Great Expectations: When Needs Turn Into Demands in Relationships

Where do our expectations in relationships actually come from—and when do they start working against us? In this revealing episode of Relationship Dish, Pam and Iona unpack the difference between healthy needs and unrealistic expectations—and how unmet (or even met) childhood experiences can quietly shape both.

They explore how what we didn't receive growing up can turn into deep longings—or even angry demands—in our adult relationships. Pam shares how mismatched expectations around time, energy, and reciprocity have led her to pull back from friendships, while Iona reflects on how differing needs for connection and space showed up early in their own relationship—and how naming those needs created something surprisingly healing between them.

Together, they dive into expectations around affection, communication, and roles in partnership, and why every relationship needs its own "rules of engagement" to thrive.

Because the goal isn't to have no expectations—it's to have the right ones, clearly expressed and rooted in reality.