Anna Mathur: Why you keep snapping, the shame spiral that makes it worse, and how to actually repair

I'm joined on this episode - for the fourth time - by awesome psychotherapist and bestselling author Anna Mathur. Her new book How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love (as Well as the Ones You Don't) is a brilliant exploration of why we snap and how to respond when it happens.

We kick of by chatting about what it's like to be the expert on rage when you're also the person in the car park crying over a WhatsApp group message asking for a fiver.

We also cover:

• Why snapping is rarely about the thing that triggered it - and what the carrier bag metaphor tells us about how we actually reach our limit
• The difference between anger and rage, and why anger is more useful than we think
• Why the shame spiral after a snap keeps your body in the same stressed state, making another one more likely, not less
• How being a "good girl" becomes a survival strategy, and why it turns into resentment
• What Anna's ADHD diagnosis taught her about her own nervous system - and how she parents a child with big feelings when she has them too
• The perimenopause connection: what's actually happening hormonally, and why Anna started HRT
• What a real apology looks like (and the version that actually makes things worse)
• Anna's own burnout - what it felt like, and how it changed the way she lives now

Follow Anna Mathur on Instagram at @annamathur and check out her new book here: https://amzn.to/4btSdF6

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Not Another Mummy Podcast is brought to you by me, journalist and author Alison Perry. I'm a mum of three and I love interviewing people about parenthood and confidence on the podcast. You can check out my other episodes and you can come chat to me on Instagram: @iamalisonperry or on Threads: @iamalisonperry. You can buy my book OMG It's Twins now.

Music: Epidemic Sound

Artwork: Eleanor Bowmer

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