Ever wonder why some couples grow closer through infertility while others grow apart? In this episode, I'm diving into one of the most important (and least talked about) sides of the fertility journey: the impact of infertility on relationships, and what you can do to stay connected as a couple if you're both hurting or stressed by the journey.
My guest is Dr. Clay Brigance, a licensed counselor, author, podcaster, and relationship researcher who studies the mental health and relationship impacts of infertility and reproductive loss. After experiencing infertility himself - including male factor, IUI, IVF, pregnancy complications, and a life-threatening postpartum hemorrhage and emergency hysterectomy - Clay set out to answer one question: why do some couples come together through infertility while others fall apart? His research with over 1,000 couples led to his Four Pillars of Connection, a framework that helps couples navigate emotional attunement, conflict, disrupted dreams of parenthood, and intimacy.
In this episode, we cover:
Why some couples grow closer through infertility while others grow apart (and what the research shows)
The "holding wet soap" metaphor: why trying to rescue your partner from pain can backfire
The Four Pillars of Connection: mindful attunement, navigating conflict, disrupted visions of parenthood, and maintaining intimacy
What to do when one partner wants to talk about everything and the other shuts down
Male factor infertility: the shame, identity crisis, and silent shattering men experience
How infertility impacts your sex life and practical ways to keep intimacy alive (including the six-second kiss!)
First steps for couples in the middle of IVF who feel like they're falling apart
Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh is one of America's most well known fertility doctors. Her success rate at baby-making is what gives future parents hope when all hope is lost. She pioneered the TUSHY Method and BALLS Method to decrease your time to pregnancy. Learn more about the TUSHY Method and find a wealth of fertility resources at www.draimee.org.
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