Lara and Carey return to talk Lara’s upcoming international adventure, moving heaven and earth for the upgrade, Carey’s high altitude bathroom rituals, a harrowing new “Special Forces” cast featuring Brandi Glanville and George Santos, a history-making “Golden Life” update, and finally seeing The Rizzler as a national treasure. They also discuss the breaking news that Jax and husband Brittany’s longtime, Canada-based publicist are bumping purses. A reader recounts their debaucherous night in Toronto with Mr. Taylor himself.


Back on The Valley, the crew reels from their disastrous vacation in Mexico; Nia (with Saerpent) prepares to leave for Miss USA where she is judged, forcing Danny to confront the unthinkable: caring for their children for a few days without her. Danny also readies himself for his overdue vasectomy procedure, as Jesse, Luke and Schwartz join him for a “Balls Voyage” drink sesh out in the Santa Clarita Horror; Jesse and Luke question Janet’s timing for her S/A reveal. Meanwhile, Jasmine tries on wedding dresses for her sweet mother, Brittany and Zack recount Jasmine’s long and arduous romantic path to finding Melissa; and Zack accompanies Danny for the Big Snip. Lala celebrates seven years of sobriety, where Janet and Doute have it out at the dinner table; Lala grapples with putting her longtime dog down. Doute settles back into Los Angeles serenity, confronting Luke once again about his own wedding bombshell. Then the crew descends on a Hollywood rooftop where Britt’s engagement party for Jasmine and Melissa commences: Janet unsuccessfully tries to thaw the ice between her and Jesse, Brittany sweats in her heels, and Jasmine and Melissa look ahead to their dream Jersey nuptials.

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