If you've ever looked at your very different children and wondered how they could possibly share the same DNA, same parents, and same upbringing, you're not alone— and you're imagining things.

Research shows that while siblings are usually more alike in appearance and intelligence than we sometimes think, their personalities are as different from one another as they would be from a stranger on the street.

Why is that? This week, we discuss:

Why siblings can have vastly different personalities despite common upbringings

How birth order influences family dynamics

Why "de-identification" tends to be more intense when siblings are closer in age

Why "the same household" doesn't actually tell the whole story

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Alix Spiegel for NPR: Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities

Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr. Judy Dunn: Why Are Siblings So Different? The Significance of Differences in Sibling Experiences Within the Family

Dr. Frank Sullaway: Why Siblings Are Like Darwin's Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family

Daniel Goleman for the NYT: Each Sibling Experiences a Different Family

Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr Denise Daniels: Why are Children in the Same Family So Different From One Another?

Science Daily: Parents’ Comparisons Make Siblings Different

Dr. Alexander Jensen and Dr. Susan McHale: What makes siblings different? The development of sibling differences in academic achievement and interests.

Annie Wright, LMFT: Same Family, Different Survival: Why You and Your Sibling Turned Out So Differently

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

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