540: Are You Helping Your Kids - Or Holding Them Back? with David Thomas

What if making life easier for our kids is actually making it harder for them to grow up? Counselor David Thomas joins Karen and Emily to explain why struggle is GOOD for our kids and how doing hard things builds confidence and capability. Listen in and you’ll be challenged to resist the urge to rescue your kids and give them room to grow!

Episode Recap:

• The pace of life has drastically changed in the last 30 years (3:00)
• Capability and confidence are built in the struggle to do hard things (7:15)
• We put too much emphasis on happiness (10:57)
• Why David intentionally signed his son up for a losing team one season (14:31)
• Narrating our own capability helps kids learn what it looks like in the real world (17:33)
• How can parents re-train their brains to allow more struggle in their kids’ lives? (24:47)
• A challenge for moms of boys! (30:30)

Scripture: Romans 5:3-4 (NIV) — “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Discussion Questions:

1. Where are you making life easier for your kids when you need to be allowing them to struggle? Where should you step back? 
2. Do you let your kids see when life gets hard for you? How do you model perseverance in your own life? 
3. Are you more focused on your child’s happiness today or their character in the long run? How does that affect the decisions you make as a parent? 

Resources:

• Find resources for raising capable kids at: https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/
• Pick up a copy of Capable on Amazon
• Reach out to have Karen or Erin come speak in your community.

Want More of This Conversation?
Dads bring something unique to the parenting table! In Wire Talk+, David Thomas shares how dads help build capability in their kids, plus practical advice for moms who want to connect better with their sons and dads who want stronger relationships with their daughters. Don’t miss this extra conversation!

Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast!