It's a hot day and everyone in the arena has forgotten to bring any fluids so there's a real chance of collapse in this week's frames, but the ESLOSPS must go on. Me 7 takes on Me10 in a battle of the accents and Me 11 plays against notorious cheat Me31. Plus everyone is wearing a Durex condom thanks to our sponsor Durex - because the end of you cue needs to have chalk on it to protect everyone. In this metaphor the cue is your penis and chalk is a condom. Hope you enjoy this multi-million pound event.

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