25 years to learn. 40 years to earn. And if you're lucky — 13 years to yearn. Once you see that math, you can't unsee it.
Session three of the Back to School (of Midlife) series. This week, Laurie lays out the three seasons of life — Learn, Earn, Yearn — on a simple timeline from zero to 80, using the average U.S. female life expectancy of 78.8 years as the anchor. The math is blunt: 25 years learning, 40 years earning, and only about 13 years left to yearn — and that's if you're lucky, since that number is actually decreasing, not increasing.
She calls it one of the biggest grifts sold to high achievers: give your most vital, vibrant years to climbing the ladder, and get a shorter, less certain stretch at the end as your reward. She brings in Bill Perkins' Die With Zero and its health/time/money framing — good health and time but no money in the first third, health and money but no time in the second, and money and time but no guaranteed health in the third — to make the same point from a different angle.
Then she tells the story of her Dad: retired on his 66th birthday after 48 years of work, moved back to Boise, had real, specific plans for retirement, and he never got the chance to live out those retirement dreams.
The episode closes with this week's assignment: identify one thing you've been deferring to your "someday" Yearn season, and find a way to move it into your Earn season now — the same thing Laurie's doing with her own upcoming France trip.
What we cover:
The three seasons of life, laid out on a simple zero-to-80 timeline
Why the math changes once you use the real average life expectancy (78.8, and declining) instead of assuming a full "65 to 80"
The "grift" framing — why trading your most vital years for a shorter, less certain retirement is a bad deal
Bill Perkins' Die With Zero and his health/time/money breakdown of the three phases of life
Why health is the one resource in that equation nobody can guarantee, no matter how well you plan
Laurie's dad's story — 48 years of work, five months of retirement, and the retirement dreams he never got to
The reframe: you don't have to wait for the Yearn season to start living like your life matters
A BEST LIFE Retreat client who moved up her own retirement date by five years after doing this work
Laurie's own example: finally taking the France trip she's talked about for five years, instead of deferring it again
The "must be nice" reaction some women have when they hear about the trip — and why that reaction is worth examining
This week's assignment: do your own version of the math, name one thing you've been deferring to "someday," and move it into your Earn season now
A preview of next week: the Curiosity, Clarity, Courage, Confidence framework — the actual mechanics of how this work happens
Quotable moments
"Once you see it laid out, you won't be able to unsee it."
"I think this is one of the biggest grifts sold to high achievers."
"Why should we spend forty to sixty hours a week at work during our most vital life years?"
"He got five months of his Yearn years. And when he died, so did every dream he'd put off."
"You don't have to wait to the Yearn season to start living like the life you want matters."
"You have to plan for your own dreams just like you do your kids' schedules and your work projects."
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