Episode 59: Schools and the Emotional Lives of Teenagers
Now more than ever, schools are focused on supporting student mental health. With rates of anxiety and depression on the rise among teens, we know we need to design environments that help foster adolescent wellbeing. But are wellbeing programs working as intended? What are we getting right – and getting wrong – about the emotional lives of teenagers? Dr. Lisa Damour has the answers.
“Schools are working against this broad cultural discourse that holds at the center the idea that discomfort is bad. And so as long as we're not challenging that idea, we're gonna be dealing with a lot of one-on-one conversations trying to convince people that this is really all okay. So I would both have schools get out on their front foot about reframing this appropriately. Mental health is not about feeling good and school is supposed to be stressful, and we are built to help your kid handle that.” (13:39)
“There are a lot of people who age without actually working themselves through the maturity that is required for a healthy adulthood, right? Who aren't thinking about risk in very smart ways. They're thinking about whether they're going to get caught, not whether they're going to get hurt or hurt somebody else. They are not taking responsibility for their actions. They don't actually have a particularly good work ethic, right? So you can age into adulthood, but not really be as mature as you should be.” (31:09)
“When I have seen adults really harm their relationship with a kid, and usually this is parent-child, but it can happen in a school, it's when the teenager says, you know what, you assigned this to us last week, or you said you were gonna pick me up and you forgot, and the adult denies or defends, right? When the adult flexes, we have all the authority, we will flex our authority if we want to. If the teenager is right and the adult is wrong and the adult doesn't own it, that relationship has hit a really rough patch.” (37:02)
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