I fooled myself. I'd tell myself if I did "this", then I'd be rewarded by the Universe and be deemed a true spiritual person. The stories I'd tell myself if I did or didn't do my practices was causing mental disturbance, unrelenting standards and a path of spiritual perfection.
I'm all down for keeping our minds in check and doing the work. But sometimes, part of doing the work is allowing ourselves to be human, to be real with our emotions and to feel what's going on before spiritually bypassing everything with practices.