Avast ye landlubbers and ahoy and wicky! It be the Balcony wit Two Lads and the seas be raging. A squall blew in from the south and dar she blows! All right. Enough. It's your weekly trip to the cinema with America's Dumbest Film Critics and we're here today to do our goddamnedest to crack open Robert Egger's 2019 puzzle the Lighthouse. We've each seen this movie twice now and for the life of us, we have no idea what is going on and/or why but we like it? Have you given as much thought to mermaid genitalia as Robert Eggers? As us? Well be prepared for the anatomy lesson of your life and spoilers abound probably. Honestly, if I tried to spoil this movie for you, I'd be getting almost every detail wrong anyway. The Lighthouse stars Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe and no other people.
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