110. Navigating a Life-limiting Diagnosis, Help for Mental Health, & Hope for Pregnancy After Loss with Adeyling Fiallos

My guest this week is Adeyling Fiallos. Adeyling experienced a miscarriage that was later followed by the death of her newborn son, Sage, due to a life-limiting condition. Adeyling became an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss in her community and founded Sage and Sara Candle Co (named after her babies) where she makes beautifully scented candles and gives back to hospitals and nonprofits with each purchase. Her mission is to help bring light and comfort to parents amidst the dark days following the loss of their child(ren). 

Adelying and I talked about many aspects of loss as it related to her story specifically. We talked about what it was like to receive a prenatal life-limiting diagnosis, what it was like to carry a baby you knew would likely not live very long outside the womb, what it was like to prepare for birth and very profoundly what it was like to go home without her baby. Where everything looked as though nothing had changed but everything had changed. She would never be the same. And she gives helpful and practical advice to any mom listening who has been given a prenatal life-limiting diagnosis about how to prepare for birth and what to expect in the days after.

We also talk about those first few weeks and months after her son died, specifically as it relates to her mental and emotional health. We talked about how grief and depression and postpartum depression have very similar symptoms and I encourage listeners then and I’ll encourage you now, if you have any thoughts of harming yourself or are experiencing intense emotions in a way that is inhibiting normal life functions, please seek professional medical help right away.

As always you can Call 911 for emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room. Or call the toll-free 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

No matter where you are in your grief journey Adeyling shares some very practical advice about what has helped her mental and emotional health since experiencing her losses that I think will be really helpful to you. She talks about the role acupuncture played as well as sleep medication. She talks about how valuable writing and journaling was to her as well as finding the right grief support group and how helpful online communities were to her.

This would be a great time to remind you that if you are not a part of our joyful mourning community -- we would really love to have you. Life after baby loss is incredibly lonely and we want to come alongside and remind you that you are not alone. We are with you. We understand what you are walking through. Come join us by heading to themorning.com/community.  

Adeyling also shares her thoughts about trying to conceive again and we talk about what pregnancy after loss has been like for her. At the time of this recording Adeyling was 18 weeks pregnant and if you are pregnant after loss or thinking about trying to conceive or currently trying, I think you will be able to relate to what she has to say about this in a profound way.  And as we mentioned last week in our episode with Maggie Koch about pregnancy after loss we know how hard the pregnancy after baby loss journey is, so we have created several free resources for you that will be tangibly helpful. To check out those resources, head to our Pregnancy After Loss Resource library at themorning.com/pregnancyafterloss. 

Lastly, Adeyling talked about the value of having a strong support system in a pregnancy after loss -- a community you can count on and rely on. We agree with Adeyling and that is why we created a free online community just for the pregnancy after loss conversations. Pregnancy after loss is a unique journey deserving of its own safe space and community where you can talk openly about what you are experiencing -- this community comes alongside our existing main community I mentioned previously to provide support for a season of pregnancy after loss. Come join us by heading to themorning.com/pal, that’s themorning.com/pal. We are so hopeful for what this new community will offer to a woman in a pregnancy after loss journey. One more time, to join us head to themorning.com/pal. 

This episode is tender and honest and full of relatable moments and helpful wisdom. I think it’s going to really bless you today.

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THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY www.themorning.com/community

PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS COMMUNITY www.themorning.com/pal

SHOW NOTES  www.themorning.com/blog/episode110