In this powerful and deeply reflective episode, Keana explores how self‑sabotage shows up in dating and why so many people push love away even when they desperately want connection. Drawing from leading psychologists like Dr. Harriet Lerner, Dr. Susan David, Dr. Brené Brown, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, and Dr. Daniel Siegel, this episode breaks down the emotional and psychological roots of self‑sabotage and offers trauma‑informed steps to begin healing.
Listeners will learn how past relationships, attachment wounds, and toxic or abusive experiences shape dating patterns and how to stop repeating cycles that keep love at a distance. Keana also explains why healing is essential before dating again and how therapy can support emotional safety, self‑trust, and healthier relationship choices.
This week’s featured song is “Killing Me” by Emory Rose a raw, emotional track about a woman facing a painful decision in a toxic relationship. All August releases are now available on streaming platforms.
🌀 Last Week’s Recap
Emotionally Mature Partners vs. Emotionally Immature Partners
- Emotionally mature partners show consistency, accountability, empathy, and communication.
- Emotionally immature partners rely on avoidance, defensiveness, blame‑shifting, and emotional volatility.
- Dr. Lindsay Gibson’s insights on emotional immaturity help explain why past relationships shape current fears.
- This week builds on that foundation by exploring how those past experiences lead to self‑sabotage.
💔 How Self‑Sabotage Shows Up in Dating
- Overthinking and catastrophizing
- Pulling away when things feel good
- Choosing emotionally unavailable partners
- Testing partners to see if they’ll leave
- Sabotaging healthy connections
- Perfectionism and unrealistic expectations
- Hyper‑independence
- Dr. Susan David: “Overthinking is a way to avoid vulnerability.”
😣 Why We Push Love Away
- Fear of abandonment, rejection, disappointment, vulnerability
- Attachment wounds from childhood or past relationships
- Nervous system responses shaped by trauma
- Dr. Brené Brown: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, and courage.”
🔥 Toxic Relationships, Trauma, and Self‑Sabotage
- Trauma rewires the brain toward hypervigilance (Dr. Nadine Burke Harris)
- Toxic relationships create fear‑based patterns
- Healthy love can feel unsafe if chaos was normalized
- Importance of healing before dating
- Why therapy is essential for rebuilding emotional safety and self‑trust
🌱 How to Stop Pushing Love Away
- Notice your patterns
- Slow down reactions
- Practice small doses of vulnerability
- Challenge fear stories
- Choose emotionally safe partners
- Learn to receive love without earning it
- Build self‑trust
- Seek therapy
- Dr. Daniel Siegel: “Name it to tame it.”
🎶 Featured Song of the Week
“Killing Me” — Emory Rose A powerful song about a woman in a painful relationship who must decide whether to stay or walk away. All August songs featured on the Worth Loving Podcast are now available on all streaming platforms. Follow Emory Rose on Spotify for new releases.
💛 Final Encouragement
Self‑sabotage is not a sign of being broken it’s a sign of being hurt. Healing is possible. Healthy love is possible. You can stop pushing love away.
📬 Contact Information for Keana W. Mitchell
🌐 Website
https://keanawmitchell.com
📸 Instagram
The Worth Loving Podcast
https://www.instagram.com/musicandtherapykwm
📘 Facebook Page
The Worth Loving Podcast
https://www.facebook.com/MusicandTherapywithKeanaWMitchell
👥 Facebook Group
The Worth Loving Podcast (Community)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/MusicandTherapywithKeanaWMitchell
📺 YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmml1kGinhHSMOXOQ8zdIEQ
🎧 Listen on Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/6T8cC9MhmpBiB9mKvRuBoS?si=a66df66287a34bbf
🎙️ Last Week’s Episode
https://redcircle.com/shows/7bf2a6d3-0543-4cef-abfe-22ea4e5a948b
📧 Email
paperanthementertainment@gmail.com
Emory Rose Artist Link
https://open.spotify.com/artist/4Mh6SP2dmG51gkQhHJDnaA?si=DkgBdNLxT2a_7GTgJuR5ug
Free Gift/ Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns and how to Break the Cycle.
👉 Download your free copy below!
Keana W. Mitchell (@KeanaWMitchellCoaching) | Stan
🎤 Interested in booking Keana for speaking engagements? Send an email to the email address listed below.
keanawmitchell@gmail.com
Remember: You are worthy of love that doesn't confuse you, love that doesn't hurt you, and love that doesn't make you question your value. You are, and always will be, Worth Loving. ❤️
