It's Ok to "Fake It"

People wear clothes for a reason. We have the right to cover up so we feel comfortable and we cover out of courtesy what may be disturbing or disrespectful to others . The same goes for thoughts and emotions. If you want to be in a relationship, like it or not, there is an obligation to cover, or at least put a filter on, some of the garbage that the mind produces.  The latest pop psychology trend of being "authentically you" is great for those who have difficulty opening up...AND it can definitely go too far. While it's important to get real with people you are close to, you can't just go around airing how you feel to everyone, and there is NO relationship in which sharing EVERYTHING (i.e. "stream of consciousness") is recommended if you are expecting to keep the relationship long-term. There's a reason we have a choice in whether or not to speak.. We know that feelings, thoughts, and urges come and go, but spoken words have a tendency to hang around in the mind of the listener. Considering what your INTENTION is prior to sharing can make a huge difference. When you consider your intention and ask, "what am I trying to bring about by saying this?" or "what am I hoping the effect of my saying this will be?," you are better able to make an informed decision. Consider the likely effect of what you have and to say and whether that is something you want. It's simple, but not easy to do when the moment is heated. We have a natural tendency to want to be "transparent" when emotions are high as a way ofI"getting it off my chest." It may feel good temporarily, but It's not always best for the relationship. Recognizing and respecting the comfort zone of the other person (within limits) is part of the process of being in relationships. Taking it too far in either direction is where things can go awry.